Characters in the Cosmos: Meet Granu
It is with extreme disgust that I must introduce this week's troll, er, character, Granu from author Sarah Sover's Double-Crossing the Bridge: A Troll Heist. Described as Leverage with trolls, Sover is querying this grog filled dark comedy with the ex-teacher-troll gathering a crew to pull the heist of the century.
I caution you... Read further at your own peril. Trolls are dangerous to humans. Stay in the sunlight!
Who are you? What do you do?
Who are you to ask who I am? Well, I suppose I agreed to this interview, Underlord knows why. I'm Granu, and I *did* teach juvie trolls until they tried to eat me for lunch. Currently, I'm between gigs.
What is your greatest fear?
If I had any, I'd never tell you! Imagine, a troll going around sniveling about her fears to human! That's like confiding in a taco.
What's the worst thing that's happened in your life? What did you learn from it?
My life was perfect until those brats went into wontog at the same time! One raging teen, I can handle, but two? Now, I'm a disappointment to my family and low on funds. The only thing I learned was that academic success does not translate to the real world and that life will kick you in the ass. Well, that, and how to smell wontog taking over a juvie.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Love? Who has time for that? I'm too worried about making rent. Though I wouldn't toss a large, loose-skinned male out for eating fried fairy wings in bed, if you know what I mean.
When and where were you happiest?
The other day, Kradduk told the funniest joke about a molent and dead rat. I laughed so hard, grog sprayed out my nose! He's always making me do that! So, I guess throwing back some grog with my buddies at Goron's makes me happy.
What is your most treasured possession?
When I graduated, my dad gave me his Carnage Award. I keep it on my nightstand. I doubt he remembers I have it, or he'd probably demand I return it.
What do you most value in your friends?
A good hunting partner who knows when to back off and let me go for the kill. Also, loyalty and a good sense of humor.
Tell me about your best friend. How did you meet? What do you like about this person? What do you think they like about you?
I have two. I met Fillig in college, and he's always got my back, even if he is a bit of a sad sack. I've known Kradduk most of my life, and he's just Kradduk, you know? Fillig likes me because I let him have it when he needs a good ass-kicking, and I think Kradduk's just used to me, like an old couch.
What's the worst thing you've ever done to someone? Why?
Disappointing my parents, I guess. I've never really been the brutal troll they wanted, but for a moment, I made them proud when I graduated top of the class. Then I royally screwed that up too.
What is your ideal world?
Free rent at a place like Kradduk's, unguarded, free-range toddlers running through the forests, finding a job I'm actually good at, and free-flowing grog at all hours of the day.
You can find author Sarah Sover on Twitter: @SarahJSover. Follow her!